Save time and money with online birthday party invitations

I haven't had the blessing of many birthday parties to organize, it's true. Excepting my daughter's first two parties, and my own adult birthdays over the years, I've been remarkably out of the invitation game.

This year, though, my daughter's going to be three. That's, like, a grown-up in little kid years, and it's also the first time that she's really going to know what this birthday business is all about. I'm planning on going all out, including invitations that did not come from the dollar store, to be hastily scribbled across while in the presence of the invitee.

I could go to a professional printer. That means time, money, travel and worst of all, proofing, proofing and more proofing. Then someone (me) still has to pick them up, address them and mail them out.

No, thank you.

I could send an email, but you know, this is a real party for her, not some thing casual and last minute. I mean, her birthday isn't for another four months and I'm already thinking about it. I want it to be the best day she'll remember for at least a year, I'd love everything to be perfect and that means I need fabulous invitations, first.

I started looking around and found some beautiful evites.

For those of you not in the know, an evite is a combination of invitation and RSVP management system. You design the invitation page, inputting all the important information that party-goers need to know, and its web address is emailed to the guest list. They then can respond directly within your evite page, leaving comments or a simple 'yes' or 'no'. It keeps all of your information organized, at the click of a key and best of all, some of those designs are breathtaking.

Like this one. Or this one! Or hey, look at this! But no, those wouldn't be too fitting for an overrun-with-toddlers party, would it? I needed to keep looking.

She's a bit of a punk rocker, my girl. She likes loud music, dance parties in the living room and hot pink skulls on her clothes. This guy could be the one. Except, well, we're not really looking for a pirate theme.

She's definitely going through a princess phase. Disney's characters in their ball gowns have lent her the philosophy that daily dresses with mary janes and a tiara are kind of a necessary thing. Maybe a simple crown and star would ensue a princess motif. But then, what if everyone showed up in ball gowns and rhinestones, and then I was the only one in jeans? We can't have that!

This one's pretty, but you know the saying, "Sugar and spice and everything nice" - she's none of those things most days! And then, will the boys at the party need their own "snails and puppy dog tails" cards?

This one's a little too posh for a three year old; that one might be a little scary for some of the kids to see, but I still like it. Hmm. There's so many to choose from!

This one is the one. It's got all the elements: it's pink and girly - I love the color scheme, there's a tiny little tiara, it's princess-themed without suggesting that everyone needs a crown for the party, and it's simple. I can customize it with all the text I need to, and guests will be able to answer my requests (say, for my best friend to bring her secret recipe chocolate chip cookies) right on the page.

It's perfect!

Unique Birthday Party Favors

You're throwing a birthday bash! You've got food, streamers, the cake, music, and everyone on the guest list has RSVPed. You've got it in the bag. Now, for favors.

Drawing a blank? Don't worry, it happens to all of us. We want those special somethings but we don't know what they are. We comb aisles of stores, and still just can't put our finger on what we should be getting. Maybe it's on the following list.

Pool party
Everyone's clad in their bathing suits, beach balls abound. But odds are some one's forgotten something rather important, which makes...

1. travel sized sunblock
2. individual zinc sticks
3. after-sun lotion
4. flip flops
5. beach towels
6. wide-brimmed straw hats, and
7. sun-shading umbrellas

great ideas. It invariably happens anytime some one's pressed to spend a bliss-filled day by the side of the pool - they forget some form of sun protection. Help your guests stay protected from heatstroke and sunburn from overexposure to damaging UVA and UVB rays.

Spa night
Every lady, everywhere can enjoy indulging in some aspect of a spa night, whether she's just steaming her face, or going for the full pampering package. But you know, people never plan to bring or enjoy...

1. Multiple towels
2. Soothing aloe gel and baking soda, in case of irritation to a spa product
3. Bottles of water
4. Baby wipes
5. Mini bottles of champagne
6. Sachets of herbal tea
7. Customized homemade bath salts

so surprise them! Let them take home some of the the zen they got from the party, so they can have a mini-party in their own oasis of tranquillity.

Wine tasting
True wine lovers will come prepared to be wowed with your selection of wines, cheeses and potentially, even chocolate. They might not be expecting...

1. a half-bottle of a fine wine
2. a slab of good-quality dark chocolate
3. gourmet cheese to go along with their favorite wine type
4. an exquisite wine glass
5. gorgeous stem decorations
6. personalized note cards and pens
7. sachets of gourmet coffee

because a wine tasting rarely gets to come home with you. Gifting them, as thanks for their attendance, with little bits and pieces related to your party is the most special way to remind them of the good time you had.

Movie night
If everyone's coming over to tuck in with some wine, flavored coffee, salty snacks and candy, you're halfway there. There's about a million potential favors related to movies, like...

1. specific DVDs for each attendee in accordance with their film taste
2. Gourmet popping corn
3. Popcorn seasoning in an attractive shaker
4. Tissues, for the tear jerker lovers
5. Stress balls for the high-tension suspense flick lovers
6. A gift card to the local movie store or online movie subscription
7. A gift basket of candy

that will give them a sequel to your party. Except, in real life, unlike Hollywood, this sequel will be just as good as the first.

Go Big (and personal) When Birthday Shopping

No one says it out loud when you ask them what they're hoping for on their birthday, but you hear it from so many friends throughout the years: cash. It's useful, it's always in need, it's...impersonal. Most people (who aren't grandparents, aunts and uncles, or parents) have a genuine problem gifting with cash. It seems so thoughtless and well, how much is enough (or, gasp! too little)?

Okay, so cash isn't an option, but something like cash could be. Something they can use, in a place that they might automatically gravitate toward, anyway. Really, it's genius, right? You just have to hit the gift card rack at your local Safeway, and...what do you mean, a $20 card to the movie theatre isn't going to cut it?

Well, maybe these will:

1. A pre-paid credit card
Visa and American Express offer these in multiple denominations, good for anywhere a regular credit card can be used. They can shop online, treat them self to a gourmet dinner, or even pay some bills, if they want to. Best of all, it's like cash, without the bills tucked into a card.

2. A spa gift card
Who doesn't want a massage, mud bath, facial, manicure or pedicure? Even the least girliest of girls and the grittiest of men will find something at nearly any spa. And, you can often elect whether to gift them with a dollar amount, or a specific service. Of course, stick to the fixed price, unless you know there's a treatment they'd enjoy, lest you end up getting a massage for someone uncomfortable with being touched!

3. An IOU
Especially in the case of parents and husbands, these little slips of paper can go a long way. Let the harried housewife go out for a night on the town with her hubby, after getting a bubbly soak and her hair (and maybe even nails) done - while you babysit. Let your husband have one entire weekend of football, hockey, baseball and poker - whether that means that the guys come over (and you vacate the premises), or he gets to simply park himself in front of the television.

4. Make it yourself
Your best friend adores your chicken kiev, cheesecake and a bottle of champagne. Pack up a picnic basket with all the fixings of a good meal and invite her to dinner, at her house. Provide all the food, clean up and ambiance for a relaxed, fun meal, and she'll feel treasured - and well-fed!

5. Memorabilia for the collector
He's been following the Yankees since he was five years old and this is his 40th birthday. Obviously, he's going to need the rookie card (signed) from one of his favorite pitchers. She's been a fan of Stephen King's writing since she could sleep through the night after reading a few chapters from Night Shift. She needs an autographed first edition. Everyone is really into something and the opportunity for a one-of-a-kind present in relation to their (possibly guilty) pleasure will provide you tons of meaningful present opportunity.

There's a wealth of go big presents you can indulge your loved one in. Much more impressive than something you've picked up at the mall, right? A really personal gift, if done right, for the right person, is often the difference between, "Yeah, I got some cash in the mail and a nice scarf," and "I have the best friends, ever!"

Send an ecard to say happy birthday

In our busy, green society, ecards are becoming all the rage. You save paper and postage, can have it automatically delivered at 12:01 am, and from my experience, it's so much easier to find the perfect sentiment for that special person. Add in a personal message and the next thing you know, the birthday girl or boy is feeling more celebratory!

I have some favorites, which I'm sure you will love, too.

For the sweet friend you want to share a little love with: Kathy Davis' beautiful, simple messages are as cute as they are light-hearted. This one says it all in soft shades and subtle music.

For the 60 years young-at-heart: Send this card to poke fun at their senior status, call them names and suggest that hey, maybe 60 is young, to some. Irony and the word whippersnapper will always get a chuckle, right?

For when a 50-year-old lady is the new 30 year old: This retro graphic card is rife with pink, 1950s inspired house dresses and a cheeky message. Perfect for a little lady who still baked biscuits from scratch between cafe visits and poker nights.

Test their memory: This ecard intimates that they're too old and well, kind of senile. Suggestion: if you're sending this one out to someone with a very good sense of humor, take the test yourself, first. And then don't tell them your answer!

For that one time you forgot: It happens to all of us - we miss an important birthday because life and the absence of our personal planner got in the way. Never fear! This ecard tells an elaborate tale of how you tried to remember their birthday, and failed. If it's not a one-off and you're always running behind, consider this fashionably late ecard. And finally, if you simply want to say, "hey, I suck for missing your birthday!" try out this ecard - it's simple and straightforward.

For that astrologically awesome woman: Send her an ecard with a funky girl that graphically represents her kick-butt attributes.

You're in love with him and he needs a card: This one, simple, classy and refined, says it all. You might even bring a tear to his eye - or at least inspire some hand-holding.

She's your soulmate and she needs a card: This one is sweet, soulful and deserved by the woman in your life that you plan to be with forever. I guarantee she'll smile all morning after finding it in her inbox.

For your sweetheart: This one's unspecific to any gender and a little gentler in their message than the previous two. Simply, it's about love, friendship and everyday wonder.

For the mom who does it all and still looks good doing it: Telling your mom to go take a bath has an entirely different sentiment than, "you're dirty" when it's in a loving ecard and you're telling her that she deserves a break from taking care of everyone else so well. Try it. I bet she still won't do it, but you never know...

For dad, because he does care if your remember too, and just a tie isn't cutting it, anymore: Sweet, full of sentiment, this ecard can also be completely personalized - just in case you and your dad aren't totally comfy with love, hugs and Kodak moments. Personally, I love the original message, but you know, some dads are a little rough around the edges!

There's no shortage of ecards in the world. I used American Greetings for all of my ecard needs, including sending cards to my blog readers - it's just a little something extra to let people know, "hey, I like you. I hope that you have a good day!"

Celebrating a non-birthday

My friend, who turns 30 today, showed up at our usual toddler playgroup unimpressed.

She woke up with a scratchy throat, a grumpy husband and two kids with runny noses. She got the husband off to work after packing his lunch, her children were fed breakfast and she considered not showing up, barricading herself in her apartment. Today is her birthday and she felt like she wanted to skip the whole thing.

We got to talking. I emphasized that this was her day and she should try to have a good time, but then we started talking realism.

Having kids, being a stay at home mom, can put a cramp in your birthday celebrations. There's so many things that can just make it feel like any other day, and I'm hard-pressed to think of a friend who did feel special on the anniversary of her birthday. Why?

Your family wakes you up
It's a rarity that you wake up with a smile as a special someone whispers their wishes for you, breakfast in bed is served, or you get to sleep in. You've got kids and they need taking care of, regardless of the date on the calendar. Running noses, dirty diapers and cutting up veggies into child-safe portions must still happen. Who else is going to do it, if you don't?

Husbands can be sweet, but often miss the mark
What? You don't think cleaning all day in preparation for a visit from your in-laws is fun? Seems like the perfect way to celebrate: your husband's family comes to shower you in presents, and then someone's still responsible for cooking dinner, tidying afterwards and having a nearly immaculate house for the visit is kind of a bummer, too. Yes, you get to spend time with your family, but at what cost of the rest of the day?

Birthdays are rarely about mom, but kids get really into them
"Happy Birthday to YOU!" can be screamed in all range of decibels by a three-year-old. Several times, without ceasefire. And everyone knows that birthdays mean cake, right? So, we can infer that "when do we have cake, Mom?" can be repeated at least as many times as the deafening Happy Birthday yell. Then of course, you have to have the cake, leaving you with over-active, super-stimulated kids to deal with. Happy birthday to YOU!

The laundry doesn't do itself and your kids still won't take a nap or eat their veggies
This is not a magical day wherein everything you wish for comes true. You don't have birds singing sweetly on your windowsill as a magical carafe serves you full-bodied, fair-trade certified coffee in bed. The piles of clothes still need stain treating, washing, drying and folding. Your kids may be on their best behavior, but for the most part, they're still kids and there will still be frustrations throughout the day. The special dinner that you cooked (for yourself) has too many "funny" things in it and your toddler demands pancakes instead, while your baby is wailing in the high chair. Sometimes you're lucky and you can wolf down a dozen bites in two minutes before bath time and the bed time routine. Today is just like every other day, except with cake and the onus on you to celebrate.

You deserve better than this, sister. Demand a kid-free dinner out after a long bath while your husband drops them off at the babysitter's house. Take a nap while your kids do, or if they won't, put on a movie in a safe environment and nod off. Tell your best friend to pick up a cake that your kids won't like - so you can have it all to yourself. Ask for maid-service for the day when someone wants to know what to get you. If you need to, give your husband a birthday itinerary, with scheduled time for pampering and his list of chores far outweighing the number of your own.

Take the day and make it special. Even if you have to be a bully about it!

How Our Birthday Parties Change

When I was a small child, birthday festivities were measured in cake, toys and game. A class of friends would converge on a small space, ultimately becoming sugar high and bouncing off of the walls.

When I hit my teens, a birthday party included friends, some good food and a lot of laughs, in addition to some form of entertainment. Usually skating or a movie night, or a dinner out with a small group where candles could be blown out meant a happy day.

Young adulthood usually included more drinks than were healthy, dancing and lots of giggling after getting ready for a night on the town. These birthday parties are a blur today, likely because of all of the alcohol consumed, and in hindsight, they weren't that special. At the time, they sure were fun, though!

Today, I'm a little older and a lot more reserved. My birthday celebration last year included three close friends, a few drinks and some yummy food. We didn't aim to get drunk or for a night that might go down in history; it was a night of intimate conversation and laughs over the old days.

Tomorrow, it's the birthday of one of my close friends. What do we have planned? No much. She's not too keen on going out - truth be told, it would be hard to organize with our group of friends and all of our kids, anyway - and she's especially avoiding doing anything birthday-like since this is the 30th birthday that she'd like unacknowledged.

But we'll do something special, something out of the ordinary, just because it is her birthday and our group of friends love her. Someone will bake her a cake, but we'll consider making it low-fat so that it doesn't feed into her burgeoning self-esteem.

We've organized birthday presents for her after conferring for a few minutes when she wasn't paying attention to the conversation - a gym pass and some new workout clothes. These gifts will serve to help support her in her new quest to get in shape and shake off the negative feelings she has about getting older.

Someone will babysit her children for a few hours, not so that she can go out and get wasted on too many highballs, but so that she can have a few hours of peace all to herself. Being a mom to a preschooler and young baby usually doesn't afford many long, relaxing baths, after all.

Her husband will make her dinner, taking over her usual daily task, and he will remember, because two of us reminded him, that he must also clean up the kitchen afterwards. It's nice to have someone cook for you, but the benefit can be tainted if you have to clean up the mess.

Instead of expensive, shiny gifts, or a card with a gift certificate thrown inside, we will write her love letters about how important she is to us, how we cherish her friendship and the wishes we have for her 30th year.

This is her 30th birthday party, and I'm willing to bet it might be one of the best days she'll have had for the past year. I would be touched in a way that sticky-sweet cake and rollerskating couldn't bring about.

When we're young, our birthdays are often about stretching our boundaries - how much we can play, eat and drink. As we've aged, I've found that birthdays become about being reminded how much the people in our lives love us and want us to be happy all year long.

Personally, I can't wait until my 30th birthday.

The moviephile's birthday

Everyone knows one person who has seen all of the latest and greatest blockbusters. This person might be into the classics, devoted to one specific genre or even a particular actor, but they've got the film bug. This person is the easiest to shop for - you can buy them movies, screening passes, a NetFlix account, movie paraphernalia, the list goes on and on.

But what kind of a party can you throw for the movie-buff? Obviously, a movie night!

If you're wracked for options - not able to rent a theatre for 30 of their closest friends, say - there's my favorite go-to suggestion: a movie sleepover party.

Here's what you need:

Invitations
An evite with a prominent film screen is the first hint to this soiree's theme. If you keep the list small, say four to 10 people, you'll find that even the smallest house can merely seem cozy as all-hours chatting, laughing and clutching in fear happen. Make sure you let everyone know to bring their PJs, toothbrush, and sleeping bag, as well as what the evening will entail.

Clear space and lots of padding
You're going to need to give the party-goers a place to sit, sleep and cuddle up during the marathon. You might also need some space for all of the wine glasses and popcorn bowls you plan to have littering your 'movie screening room'. If you can, provide pillows for the sleep-over attendees, or ask them to bring their own; toss cushions will do for simply watching a movie (or three).

A theme
You can't invite 10 people to your house and just watch whatever the newest releases are! Some people might've seen the one that came out last Tuesday, already. But, you can get away with the newest release if you're doing a trilogy night, for instance. Try something older, with a common theme, such as movies featuring Tom Cruise, babies, women coming of age, etc.

Drinks
What would a birthday party (well, an adult birthday party) be, without drinks. Wine, high balls, a drink related to the movie theme - you can't really go wrong with having something alcoholic to drink. Alternatives exist for those choosing not to imbibe in the form of soda, ice cream floats, and hot beverages like espresso, cocoa and spiced apple cider.

Something to nosh on
You're going to need some typical theatre fare, for sure. Buttery, salty popcorn is a must, as might be nachos, candy and Junior Mints. Of course, more than a movie or two filled with sugary, salty sweetness might be a problem for those who outgrew a cast-iron stomach by 20 - which is exactly why you need to order pizza or Chinese food!

A final point: this is a sleepover, right? The night's not over until someone has something written on their face (the first one to fall asleep, that is), and some tricksters have tried to old 'hand in a bowl of warm water' gag. The point? Have fun and be a kid for a few hours!